Dangers of Identity Crisis Addressed by School Chaplains
What’s the price for fitting-in?
This is an urgent examination and nonjudgmental call for safety and wellbeing. Identity crisis is a real thing with real consequences. Its management requires a holistic multidisciplinary approach, including spiritual care.
Spiritual support alongside secular, medical and psychiatric modalities will produce better outcomes. The National School for Chaplains Association (NSCA) provides early spiritual intervention that fills a void and helps save lives.
A Fresh Look At Identity
The inner knowing of self, is an awareness of a total description of what it means to be you. Confidence in who you are affects how much others are allowed to shake your reality. Peer pressure is better managed when one is secure in who they are, regardless of other’s opinions.
Friendships help adolescents establish a sense of identity.
Identity is more than appearance and sexual orientation alone. The built-in physical sex drive is purposeful, but public behavioral boundaries strengthen respect for self and others. Purpose, vision, dreams, faith, character and friendships make up identity.
Children perceive a friend as one who does activities with them, who is helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.
Adolescents add intimacy, common interests, attitudes, and values
Middle adolescent girls worry more about a friend’s loyalty and deemphasize self-disclosure.
Chaplains are friendly and nonjudgmental. A safe space for students to voluntarily come and freely express their true thoughts. Spiritual struggles come to light as questions surface. Chaplains are trained in therapeutic communication skills. Students receive a reprieve from peer pressure, criticism, and being framed or shamed.
Identity and friendships are companions. Choose wisely. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24, ESV)
Identity is a vital part of the 8 stages of development, described by psychosocial theorist Erik Erickson (McLeod 2025). Unresolved conflict at any stage, hinders healthy development to the next stage.
Psychosocial crises occur with unmet developmental needs
Adolescence: Identity vs. Identity Diffusion
Early Adulthood: Intimacy vs. Isolation
Psychosocial theorists (and parents) know that young people have a strong need to belong and be accepted. Chaplains know that this built-in-need, also has a greater purpose for healthy interpersonal relationships and strong communities.
The danger lies, when identity is forced upon others.
Logic and spirituality have taken a backseat in recent years. Unnecessary turmoil and loss of life has transpired. The suicide rate among students has escalated. Depression, hate and violence have increased. What is the price of fitting-in?
How dangerous is identity crises?
Emotional collapse has occurred from crippling guilt and deep regret after the reality of permanent consequences comes to light. Irreversible physical alterations through sex change surgeries have taken place. Disabling, multiple personality disorders surface. Despair comes when all else fails. The quest for true identity went sideways. Retreat into isolation and maladjustment ensues into excruciating loneliness.
Children need guidance as they mature.
Each theorist emphasizes a different aspect of human development
Freud— psychosexual
Erikson—psychosocial
Piaget—cognitive
Kohlberg—moral
Insight and therapeutic tools from each of them are useful and effective, but alone, they are incomplete. The whole person includes spirituality. Chaplains appreciate and include tools from those theorists when appropriate, but another therapeutic discipline is needed.
The discipline of faith has evidence with proven positive outcomes.
This 7 minute video applies scientific neuroplasticity and spiritual truth. Applied spiritual care, in its fullness, provides satisfaction, identity, belonging, hope, peace and transformation from a power bigger than ourselves. Confusion, guilt and shame melt away under redemption realized through identification in Christ Jesus. Of course, that is a free and noncoerced choice. Choices Matter. “Identity Matters ”
Adding chaplain care to the multidisciplinary team fills a void and helps save lives!
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References
McLeod PhD, October 15, 2025, Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development https://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html
National School Chaplains Association https://www.nationalschoolchaplainassociation.org/
Scriptures Proverbs 18:24. from Holy Bible, ESV, Olive Tree Bible App
About the Author: Dorothy Kozar is a published author, public speaker and holds a Masters degree from Duke University. Functioning as an editorial writer for National School Chaplain Association (NSCA), she enjoys writing and being a Certified Chaplain after retiring from 32 years as a board certified CRNFA surgical nurse. Ultimately, became self-employed Acute Care Nurse Practitioner providing peri-operative patient care. Then she rounded out her career, as director of the Department of Robotic Surgery. Serving as Legislative Liaison for Operating Room Nurses, led to the passing of a bill in the N.C. House. Met with legislators at D.C. and spoke there at a national nursing convention. Dorothy seeks to be an agent of change in supporting godly standards in schools, culture, local and national government. Likewise, as an ordained minister, a wife, mother and grandmother; her heart is to calibrate, educate and celebrate by demonstrating the freedom; whereby Christ has made us free.